This is a post about the Growing Participator Approach, the language-learning method I am using. There may be some terms that are unfamiliar to you. I explain them a little at the bottom of the post. You can read more about GPA here.
I don’t know why I always start crying when I’m in the bathroom, but that’s where it happens. Maybe it’s the feeling of being completely alone. Not that being alone there is bad.
Today I accomplished my first day engaged in GPA. Still groggy from a significant time change I sat through two hours watching a session* with a nurturer* and participants* who are about twenty hours in. By the end of the morning I felt encouraged and excited. I was understanding some words and thinking of all the wonderful and beautiful applications of language learning. Then it was my turn.
My brain was already swimming with new information when I sat down at the table with the nurturer, and the coffee I had drained during the other session had completely worn off. I made it through 90 minutes of listening, pointing, and acting out before we both called it quits. (Well, the nurturer called it quits. I just smiled and nodded like I’d been doing for about, um… 90 minutes).
I tried to think about the rest of my day, when I would listen to my recordings and relive* the session in prep for tomorrow, and I couldn’t. Instead I found myself leaning my forehead against the tile wall of the bathroom, taking deep breaths and fighting back tears.
I didn’t feel sad or inadequate. It had been a good day of hard work, and I had the word log* to prove it. I was just exhausted out of my mind.
This isn’t the first language I’ve had to learn outside my mother tongue, and it certainly isn’t the first time I’ve shed tears over trying to learn a language. I think the two go together pretty regularly. So to all you criers out there: be encouraged.
I’m super excited about getting to sleep tonight, and I’m even pretty excited for my nurturer to come back tomorrow at ten. It might take some more tears, but I’m going to survive this GPA journey.
*session: lesson
nurturer: teacher
participant: student
relive: intently listening to recordings from your session
word log: a list where you record all the words you learn