Well…
I’m out of practice. The last few years have been strange ones. Maybe everyone feels that way about their mid-twenties.
But as I left college and headed out into the world, writing for the public became more challenging. How much was too much to share? Where did the lines of my professional and personal life blur? Do my thoughts belong on the internet for strangers to see?
So I have been… intermittent. I’ve tried a few different projects. I’ve started blogs and renamed them and looked at different angles through which to share my life.
Recently, I’ve felt – compelled? – back into writing for an audience. I’m not completely sure why, but I feel like it matters for some reason. I still have most of the questions I listed above, but this feels like something I’m supposed to do.
So I’ve decided to start with bold, oversized commitment and write every day for the next month. In order to do that, I thought it might be helpful to have a theme to guide me.
I’m going to try to write about grief. I’ve experienced a lot of grief in the last five years, in big ways and small. It’s part of what’s kept me from writing. Grief feels really private, like something you shouldn’t share.
Right now I think a lot of people are grieving. There have been a lot of losses. A lot of people have died, are dying, either from viral infection or because quarantines and isolation have amplified pre-existing issues in society. Those feel like the ultimate losses, but almost everyone has lost something. Grief doesn’t really know comparison.
Last year, my pet died. It wrecked me. There I was, twenty-seven, with far more serious things on my plate. I couldn’t understand why, but the grief from that event ripped me apart. It’s been almost a full year, and I’m tearing up writing about it.
My point is, even in my own life, I can’t understand why some griefs seem so momentous and others don’t. So while we do have to prioritize our actions, I don’t think we have to ration our empathy and compassion for those who are grieving. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a job, a graduation, or an imagined certain future, we would do well to grieve the losses we’re experiencing, both for ourselves and those around us.
I was recently sharing with someone about all of the emotions I’m experiencing, and she encouraged me to walk through my grief, because that’s what we have to do before we can really encounter joy. With my blog being named “Make Joy,” I thought trudging through the mire of grief would be an appropriate platform from which to launch this new endeavor of writing.
So… rah rah rah! Get excited for a month of grief! Haha, hopefully it won’t be too terrible. And we can all find a little joy at the end of it.